Sex is…
Recently I thought about how food and music are some of the most complex and diverse things humanity does. All over the world, people share different food. Music varies from country to country. As I thought about the diversity of food and music, I also thought about sex. Sex is one of the most diverse things that humans do. In fact, sex is probably the most diverse thing that all of the animal kingdom does. What do I mean by diverse? Well, the way we have sex differs dramatically for every person and in every relationship.
Some people don’t have sex but do have romance. Some people don’t have romance but do have sex. Other people have neither. Some people have sex with people with similar genitals others have sex with folx who have different genitals. Some people have a lot of sex. Some do not. Some people prefer masturbation to partnered sex. Some people have sex with one partner other people have sex with multiple partners. You see where I am going here. This list of the varieties of sexual desires and practices is only the very tip of the iceberg that is sex.
So, Evan, why write a blog about the various ways to experience one's sexuality? In society and in media we often only see one type of sex portrayed, sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. That type of sexual intimacy is what many of us grow up being told is “normal”. Understanding that sex can look vastly different for every person is the first step in embracing our sexuality. Maybe you love partnered sexual intercourse between a cis hetero man and woman, that is awesome! But maybe you don’t, that is also awesome! We don’t have to all be the same, all be into the same things, or even like sex at all. The bottom line is that sex is a part of what makes us, US. It is not our whole identity. Sex looks different for everyone. My invitation, one that I struggle with just as much as anyone else, is to embrace and love your relationship with sex. After all, it is good!
P.S. When I discuss sex I cannot leave you without mentioning the key component to it, consent. Sex, physical touch, or any form of intimacy CAN ONLY EXIST when all parties involved are consenting to it. This is rule number one in sex. If someone cannot consent due to their age, being intoxicated, or any other reason it is NOT OKAY to have any sort of intimacy with them. Consent is the basis that all sex must stand upon.
