Moving Through Shame: A Step-by-Step Guide to Healing and Self-Acceptance
At Embodied Therapy Group in Fort Collins, Colorado, we understand that shame can be one of the most isolating and overwhelming emotions. Shame often creeps in uninvited, silencing us, clouding our sense of self-worth, and affecting our relationships with others. For those navigating trauma, non-traditional relationships, or identity challenges within the LGBTQ+ community, shame can have an even more profound impact. This blog will explore what shame is, how it affects mental health, and provide a step-by-step approach to moving through it.
What Is Shame and Why Is It Important to Move Through It?
Shame is an intense emotion that arises when we feel we have fallen short of societal, relational, or personal expectations. Unlike guilt, which focuses on specific actions (“I did something wrong”), shame targets the self (“I am something wrong”). It’s a deeply personal and painful feeling that can lead to self-criticism, disconnection, and even mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
Shame thrives in secrecy, feeding on silence and self-isolation. When left unaddressed, it can create barriers to connection and healing. Moving through shame is crucial for restoring a sense of self-worth, building meaningful relationships, and achieving emotional well-being. In this blog, we’ll provide a step-by-step method to help you process and release shame, reconnect with yourself, and move toward healing.
Step 1: Identify Your Feelings
The first step in moving through shame is recognizing its presence. Shame often appears as a blend of emotional and physical sensations. Learning to identify these feelings helps to bring awareness to the experience, giving you the tools to address it more effectively.
What Does Shame Feel Like in the Body?
Shame can manifest as:
A heaviness in the chest
A tingling sensation in the face or hands
A lump in the throat
Heat or a flushed feeling
Tightness in the stomach
A desire to shrink or hide
Take a moment to sit with your body and notice where these sensations arise. Do you feel an urge to avoid eye contact or make yourself smaller? These bodily cues can be a roadmap to understanding when shame is taking hold.
Link Shame to Memories
Once you’ve identified these sensations, reflect on other moments when you’ve felt similarly. What situations or interactions triggered shame in the past? Recognizing patterns can help you uncover the root causes of your shame and build awareness for future moments when it arises.
Step 2: Self-Soothe
After identifying feelings of shame, the next step is to nurture yourself with practices that help you feel grounded and safe. Self-soothing is essential for calming your nervous system and creating space to process your emotions without judgment.
Listen to Your Body
Ask yourself: What does my body need right now? Your response might vary depending on the moment. Pay attention to what brings you comfort and a sense of grounding.
Examples of Self-Soothing Practices
Movement: Dance, stretch, go for a walk, or engage in gentle yoga. Moving your body helps release tension and reconnect with yourself.
Engage Your Senses: Focus on your surroundings—notice textures, sounds, smells, or tastes that bring you peace. Try holding a warm cup of tea or listening to calming music.
Creative Expression: Journaling, painting, singing, or playing an instrument can help you process and release your feelings.
Breathwork: Take deep, intentional breaths to activate your parasympathetic nervous system and promote relaxation.
Experiment with different methods and trust your instincts to guide you toward what feels most supportive.
Step 3: Seek Connection
Shame often isolates us, making connection with others a powerful antidote. Engaging in meaningful relationships helps combat the secrecy and self-judgment that shame fosters.
Connect With Others
Reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or support group can provide reassurance and remind you that you’re not alone. Share your feelings with someone who will listen without judgment. A simple text, phone call, or coffee chat can go a long way in lifting the weight of shame.
For those who feel hesitant to connect in person, reading about others’ experiences online or joining virtual communities can help normalize your feelings and foster a sense of belonging.
Connect With Yourself
If reaching out to others doesn’t feel accessible, focus on connecting with yourself. Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself with kindness, as you would to a close friend. Journaling or meditating can help you clarify your emotions and deepen your self-awareness.
Building connection, whether with others or yourself, helps counteract shame’s isolating effects and opens the door to healing.
Conclusion: Moving Through Shame With Support From Embodied Therapy Group
Shame can feel like an overwhelming and paralyzing emotion, but it doesn’t have to define you. By identifying your feelings, practicing self-soothing, and fostering connection, you can begin to release the grip of shame and move toward self-acceptance and healing.
At Embodied Therapy Group in Fort Collins, Colorado, we are here to support you on this journey. Our trauma-informed therapists specialize in creating safe, compassionate spaces where you can explore and process shame, reconnect with yourself, and rebuild your sense of self-worth.
Whether you’re navigating trauma, identity challenges, or relationship dynamics, we offer personalized therapy services tailored to your unique needs. Reach out today to schedule a session and take the first step toward healing. Together, we can help you reclaim your sense of self and embrace the fullness of who you are.
